Who are you attracted to? And what’s behind that?
Do you have a type? Are you often attracted to a certain sort of look or personality in a prospective partner? Can you identify any connections between previous relationships and how you felt in them?
This is such an interesting subject that when we become aware of, we can make decisions about who we want to be with in a loving relationship! And it may well be someone very different to your 'normal type'.
In my Healthy Relationship Formula we go into past patterns and evaluate what has been good that we want to keep and what we definitely want to leave behind; certain types of relationships and situations for example. Having this conscious awareness of any patterns allows us to make different choices for our future love life.
Often we are not fully conscious of our main limiting beliefs to do with relationships. We may have created certain beliefs and made decisions as a child, both from our own experience and from observing the important relationships around us growing up.
Before we are really aware of these beliefs under the surface they are able to drive us and may affect the type of people we are drawn to. We are 'unconsciously' creating our experience.
What does unconsciously creating our experience mean?
We are always creating our circumstances and we tend to be driven by our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. If we hold limiting beliefs from our past and childhood wounds, it means that without us being fully aware of it the child that still lives within us is driving us to create our reality today. If deep down, we hold limiting beliefs of not being enough or not being loveable we will often choose situations and people that prove these beliefs right.
The mind loves what is familiar, it is wired to notice and guide us to the familiar pathway. This is because it’s easier and the mind is basically wired to keep us safe. Anything familiar is deemed as safer for us (even if it’s something we claim we don’t want). Because we have already experienced it, it’s already a ‘program’ in the mind. Anything unfamiliar requires more effort by the mind to suss it out for potential ‘danger’.
So how does this affect who we are attracted to?
There are some theories that we pick our love interests and partners because they remind us of how we felt as a child.
There’s that familiarity again, but the theory goes that because it's human nature to love and be loved, we’re always repeating similar experiences to our childhood ones.
According to this theory we are drawn to prospective partners who have similar traits to our parents (Mum & Dad) or other caregivers, or who remind us of how we felt as a child. We are driven with the notion of getting our unmet childhood needs satisfied.
So it’s like we’re constantly replaying the movie of our earlier years in order to create a happier ending, where all of our unmet needs for unconditional love and care are fulfilled. This can be a life-long search until we realise that it’s not up to our significant other to meet our childhood needs for love!
That's our job!! As children we did need that love and care to survive, but as adults what we need is us to love us!!
Once we love ourselves we can invite someone else in who also loves themself. Were choosing healthy love, not expecting someone else to fill the void that was left for us as children. The only person that can do that is us!
By gaining this awareness, we have more consciousness on why we are drawn to certain people. Fascinating stuff!
The aim of the game is to be consciously creating. But what does this mean?
To be consciously creating our circumstances means to be aware of our past unconscious decisions and the results or experiences that those decisions led us to. The next step is to decide we want something different and to begin to ‘create’ with intention, to be conscious of what we want and to make decisions that align with this new vision. When you become super-clear on what you don't want you also gain such clarity on what else is possible for you! And that's exciting!
What about you?
Are you a single woman who wants to be in a relationship, but you know you sometimes get in your own way of being happy in love? If so, the Healthy Relationship Formula will support you to work on releasing the past (including any limiting beliefs that have been holding you back) and healing your relationship with you first.
When you truly remove these blocks to love, it's only a matter of time before you find that lovely partner you've been waiting for!
To find out more about the program and apply click here!
Hypnotherapy & Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) help us change negative thought patterns!
As a hypnotherapist I know the life-changing power that changing your thoughts and beliefs can have! Hypnotherapy & Rapid Transformational Therapy (which utilises hypnosis as well as other effective modalities like CBT, NLP and Gestalt Therapy) help people to gain awareness on certain patterns and triggers; where they come from and when and why they started in our lives.
Self-Awareness Leads to Change!
Even just understanding the root of some of our negative emotions, habits and behaviours can set us free, as we understand that the subconscious mind has held outdated and unnecessary coping mechanisms from the past and they are no longer relevant to us today.
When I work with clients who want to improve their relationships or attract healthy love into their lives, we dig into any blocks that may be in the way. These may be in the form of limiting beliefs about themselves and relationships. Once they understand what may be standing in the way of them finding healthy love, they can naturally let go of these blocks and take the necessary actions to actually meet a potential partner.
“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.”- Shannon Ables.
Having clearer awareness of our patterns and core beliefs, feelings and behaviours is empowering. It gives us confidence that we can change our relationships in the future. It also provides the opportunity to connect and forgive ourselves for anything we did or let happen in the past.
With self awareness comes self love, acceptance and compassion. With an understanding of why we think, feel and act in certain ways, we know what our triggers are and are able to self regulate to avoid reacting in the same negative ways we did in the past.
This self awareness really does set us free because once we know why we have made certain choices in our past or are triggered by certain situations we have the choice to change, to choose a better way. Once we know our part played in any unhealthy patterns we can start to make different choices.
We can also challenge our limiting beliefs which have been guiding us to choose or accept less than we’re worth. We understand that we’ve been governed by false limiting beliefs and this empowers us to make changes.
Our subconscious mind is receptive to new ideas and beliefs!
In hypnotherapy & RTT we then use hypnosis to 'wire' in new and more helpful beliefs and ideas that will help us with any issues such as lack of self-esteem and confidence, communication, boundaries and dealing with any triggers which may have caused insecurities or emotional reactions in the past!
This takes a bit of repetition, but the mind will absorb new replacement ideas when it hears them regularly for a period of time. I get my clients to listen to a powerful hypnotherapy audio for at least 21-28 days and they report feeling different and better about what we focussed on changing or improving. Also, they often tell me that they notice they are behaving differently too and our actions produce our results in life, don't they :)
Here are some comments from clients who have noticed incredible shifts after hypnosis:
"The best thing been since the session has been feeling able to communicate my feelings and needs. Feeling like a mental blockage has been removed and some energy has been released."
"The best thing been since my session has been the confidence I have gained in myself. My acceptance and gratitude towards my past. I feel supported within myself, which is something I used to seek in everyone and everything else around me."
"Relationships have been my biggest challenge, no matter how much I tried, I kept meeting guys that were not treating me right to somewhat abusive. The best thing that happened in my life after my RTT experience, is I have met a super wonderful man that genuinely cares and loves me."
"RTT helped me to build the strength and conviction that I am lovable and respected by men. Now when I meet up with the man I'm dating, I feel confident and in control which is such a relief. I am enjoying his company and making sure to take care of my needs at the same time. He is loving my confidence and clarity."
The Healthy Relationship Formula Program incorporates hypnosis and RTT (on a one to one with me) as well as 8 group live modules. Over an 8 week time span and in a supportive, private community, single women do the inner healing work that empowers them to find healthy, happy love! To find out more about this life-changing program click here!
- 4 min read
❤️ 💕🦋 What is the Healthy Relationship Formula? ❤️ 💕🦋
This is a supportive and inspiring program that helps single women ditch toxic relationships and create healthy, happy love!! ❤️ 💕🦋
This 8 week live online program empowers women to fully heal, love and value themselves so that they can confidently and happily attract and thrive in a mutually respectful, loving and happy romantic relationship!
The program is made up of 8 live zoom sessions (which will be recorded, so replay is always sent afterwards) and a one to one Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session with me to help release any love blocks that have been keeping you stuck from finding the love that you want and deserve!
The program is designed to help women who:
* Are independent, single, career-driven but tend to struggle with low self-esteem, lack of self-worth and limiting beliefs in relationships.
* Have experienced at least one toxic relationship and/or have found themselves triggered and insecure, even when in a 'good' relationship.
* Are aware that they may still be influenced and affected by some negative aspects of childhood and the past and these experiences are still limiting them in their life today.
* When it comes to dating they may feel disillusioned, daunted &/or fed up with the whole process! They may have tried the dating apps but have not had success at meeting a potential partner yet and maybe didn't enjoy this way of meeting people.
* May have a limiting belief that they won't meet anyone and this scares them. They may believe that other people can have fulfilling relationships, but that it won't happen for them!
And They May Also:
* Have grown up not being nurtured by, or emotionally connected with their father or mum (or sometimes both parents). And/or may have witnessed and been affected by a parents' break-up or unhappy relationship.
* Be feeling frustrated, fed up and fearful of attracting another toxic relationship or of driving a future partner away because they have unconsciously sabotaged relationships and their own happiness in the past.
* Be feeling lonely and really desire a fulfilling, loving relationship with a partner, but they don’t trust that this is possible until they release internal blocks to love and heal the past. (And they want to do this inner work but are just not sure how).
How Does The Program Help?
If any of the above sounds like your experience the healthy relationship formula is a step by step process which:
* Will support you to heal childhood wounds including any lingering parental wounds and let go of the past, so that you can be free of any blockages that have been in the way of a healthy relationship.
* Will help you to become so self-aware of past patterns that you know exactly what you do want and what you don’t want. This knowledge will allow you to confidently create what you do want in a future relationship.
* Will show you exactly how to utilise the universal laws of focus, expectation and attraction to begin to manifest healthy, happy love into your life. You actually have a lot more power over this than you may have previously thought and I'll show you exactly how to harness this power!
The Healthy Relationship Formula will also teach you:
* How to take really good care of your inner child (the part that lives within us all and tends to drive our emotions!) so that you can feel confident, calm and at peace.
* How your mind works, how it tends to keep us stuck and how we can utilise our own brains to help, rather than hinder us in getting what we want in love and life.
* How to release the biggest love block that’s been holding you back from feeling the truth; that you are completely worthy of love just as you are! During the program we use powerful processes to literally rewire your mind to this truth.
* How to love yourself more. You teach others how to love and care for you by the way you love and care for yourself. A big focus of this program is practicing self-love, compassion and kindness towards the most important person here, yourself! When you do this for you, you will never accept any less from others!
* How to manage your mind. When you know how to change your thoughts and beliefs and process your emotions in an effective way, your life changes! In this program you learn simple and powerful tools to be able to take care of yourself. This is a game-changer for your future happiness, confidence and peace of mind!
* How to enjoy the dating process. I teach you the best way to think and feel in order to happily and confidently date. When you adopt this way of thinking and feeling about your dating experience, everything changes! When you choose to know that your future relationship is inevitable, you can relax and enjoy meeting new people, in the meantime!
You Will Also Learn How to:
* Create boundaries. During the program we actually go through a process to clarify what is important to you in a relationship. You create your boundaries and learn how to communicate them to a future partner, if they are ever crossed!
* Communicate confidently. You will learn effective ways to ask for what you need and want in a relationship and to feel clear, calm and confident when giving any negative feedback. You learn to communicate clearly, kindly and lovingly so that you are actually understood. You will learn how to take care of yourself and the relationship during conflict too.
* Set a relationship up for success. Both during the program and afterwards with the Relationship Success Toolbox, you have all of the tools, processes and guidelines to set your future relationship up for success from the beginning!
If you've read this blog and thought 'This is me", I invite you to apply for the next live program. Click this link to set up a discovery call and I look forward to chatting with you! ❤️ 💕🦋
